confused

i'm soooooooo confused. i don't know how to continue to live on in the dark. will some one ever help me and pull me out to see the light??? this pain is something that is always inside of me.... no one knows about it.... its been kept inside of mefor sooo long.... yet no matter how much i try to get rid of the pain.... it always come back.... am i to forever live in the emptyness of the darkness and live forever in the shadow alone nvr to see the light?????? i don't want to but... i jus can't seem to rid myself of this pain.... knowing that i am hated by everyone..... even those that i love...... (not my family) i don't even know if i have friends.... many people take me for the person they see on the outside... hot headed, always wanting the attention... yes it is true that i am hot headed.. i get angry easily.. yes i do try to get attention from people but.... i live in a whole other secret life that no one knows of.... and having that secret life (which i have already told you guys) is what makes me feel like i am totally different than everyone else... like i am all alone.... in my class, the students there do alot of funny things that they enjoy doing but.... to me, those acts are just stupid.... like some one from my class who bets with people when he trows a papper ball into the trash bin... some find it fun.. i find it stupid... many other things as well......... i jus don't know y i am soo different.... guess i will nvr figure it out... right now, the only thing i'm trying to figure out is how am i to release myself from the pain and darkness.